


Spixy Stories

by redcarnations



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, One Piece, 刀剣乱舞 | Touken Ranbu
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-12 13:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7107034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redcarnations/pseuds/redcarnations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spixy: adjective, to be spicy and sexy at the same time.</p><p>Various badfic/crackfic, summaries are all contained within.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. love is so bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't already know what a freddo is, please google image search it before reading. Thank you.
> 
> Summary: Horikawa has a very sweet evening with his darling husband, Kane-san. (Character death??????)  
> Could sound a little funky, copied & pasted directly from twitter without any edits.

"kanesan..." horikawa whispered seductively against kanesans ear, "you look so delicious...can i take a bite"

kanesans heart throbbed sweetly at horikawa's words, but he shook his head, "please finish eating your dinner first, my saccharine husband...dessert is for later <3"   
horikawa went back to eating his spicy egg fried rice. he looked up at kanesan, "say aah, my honey"    
kanesan shook his head, "I am not good with peppers. the only spicy thing i need in my life is you, my dear hot n sweet kunihiro"

at this, horikawa blushe. how could kanesan be so sweet? it still had not occurred to him that his lover was actually a chocolate frog from australia. if he was not sweet, then what could he be ?

horikawa finished off his meal quickly, and then went to brush his teeth. kissing his sweet and darling husband with spicy egg breath would be most ill mannered of him.

he came back to the dinner table, but his husband was not there. where could have his very savory husband have run off to?

he looked through the rest of his very large apartment, since horikawa kunihiro was a very rich businessman the whole floor belonged to him. the reason for this was since his very sweet husband was also very clumsy, and was often knocking things over and setting things on fire. owning this many rooms meant that he could always just get it renovated, and they could move to a different bedroom in the meanwhile.

he finally found the bedroom that kanesan had hid himself away in. the AC was blasting on high, and horikawa shivered slightly, it was so cold in the room, as cold as icecream straight out of the freezer. 

and then he spotted his husband, lying quite sexily on the bed, drizzled in caramel. he looked so sexy, so delicious.

horikawa could feel his mouth water, he wanted to eat kanesan right there and then.

horikawa strode over quickly, loosening his tie with one hand, and throwing off his coat with the other, "did you wait long for me, sweetheart?"   
kanesan blushed demurely, a tint of raspberry on his sweet skin.

the bed creaked as horikawa got on it, his eyes devouring kanesan.    
his husband ran a hand over one sticky caramel coated leg, "don't just stare, my honeybun, this is all for you to eat <3"

horikawa licked his lips, and then sweetly kissed kanesan's cheek, "i love you more than children love candy on halloween"

kanesan blushed again, and ran a hand through his silky hair, the color of dark chocolate. he was feeling a little embarrassed now, but more than that, so so impatient. he wanted horikawa's nice chocolate bar and now.

"kunihiro..." he whined sweetly, and reached a hand out towards horikawa, the same hand that was dripping with caramel. the sweet sticky substance smeared onto horikawa's face, and horikawa licked his lips again, and then taking kanesans hand into his own, he licked that too, individually sucking on all his fingers until all the caramel was cleaned off. but there was another taste, besides the caramel that horikawa could feel on his tongue. that strange chocolatey flavor he had always felt whenever he had kissed his husband. he did not give it much thought, after all his husbands personality was so sweet that of course he would also taste just as sweet. horikawa trailed kisses down kanesans arm, almost like trailmix when you only eat the m&ms, but not really.

he then claimed kanesans lips, so so sweet, like candy. kanesan gasped as he melted into horikawas touch, "aahn..kunihiro..no  more...i'll melt..." but horikawa did not realize that kanesan was being serious, and continued to kiss him. he ran a hand teasingly along kanesans skin, as pale and as smooth as white chocolate, until his fingertips brushed cooly against kanesan's nipples, resembling chocolate dipped strawberries, but with more chocolate than strawberry. considering that kanesan was made of chocolate and not strawberry, that description was barely accurate.

kanesan moaned sweetly again, "aahn <3 ..AAaah <3 ...Kunihiro...Stop...i'm...aaaaAahn <3...melting <3" but horikawa still paid no heed, assuming that his lovely sugarcube was only enjoying himself. which he was, but he was also melting.

at this point, horikawas fingers began to feel sticky, a thick coating of chocolate covering the entirety of his hands. he looked again at his husband, and noticed the milk chocolate dripping down his very sexy body.

"my, how naughty of you, my sexycake" horikawa could have never imagined that his sweet husband would do something as kinky as coating himself in chocolate. but here, he was wrong. kanesan was far too pure to attempt something like that, in fact he was 100% pure cacao, but not unsweetened.

horikawa kissed kanesans neck, and then sucked at it, filling his mouth with more of the sweet chocolatey taste. kanesan gasped again, and while he knew things were getting too dangerous, much too hot for a little chocolate frog like him, but he could not stop, and he panted, "kunihiro more.....aaaaAahn...melt me <3"   
horikawa complied.

the bedsheets became stickier and sweeter, and suddenly horikawa realized what he had done. his husband was gone. he had melted kanesan with nothing but love alone. horikawa looked down at his hands, still coated in the sweet remains of his darling, and he sighed.   
what was this bittersweet pain in his chest?   
  
love, of course.


	2. we're so cool, aren't we?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off the shoujo oneshot "zannen nagara chigaimasu". i highly recommend reading that, it's lovely.
> 
> summary: Horikawa who has run away from home after suffering massive heartbreak runs into a handsome stranger, who is this Kane-san, and what will happen now?  
> Again, copied & pasted directly from twitter. A lil wonky.

so like, horikawa and kanesan meet and fall in love at first sight while riding the escalator, kanesan calls out to hori  and they relocate to a cafe, and kanesan first asks horikawa how old he is.   
"i'm 16, but you look kind of old...? are you in  ur 30s?" he laughs, "well, i don't mind that at all...i like older men"   
at this, kanesan blushes, and looks off to the side, and  mumbles something that horikawa doesn't quite hear.   
"excuse me, did you just say you're 2 years old?"

 kanesan shakes his head, hard enough that his braid smacks into his glass of iced water, knocking it over.   
he starts to cry  horikawa suddenly realizes he might have made a mistake in falling in love with this man...he begins to soak up the spilled water  with several napkins, since kanesan seems to be incapable of doing so.   
"so...how old are you?"   
"i'm 12..."

 horikawa winces, a younger guy? did he really fall for a brat this time? he's barely gotten over his unrequited love for the handsome grandfather that lives next door, mikazuki munechika, aged 90 years.    
_ aah _ , horikawa clutches at his chest, just the memory of it brings pain to him. he never saw it coming, that his own younger brother would be the one to steal love away from  him .... he sighs, and tosses the soaked napkins into the trash.   
he loves yamanbagiri, truly, and wishes for his happiness  but he can't live in that household anymore, it stings everytime he sees mikazuki smile so sweetly at yamanbagiri.  in fact, because he can no longer stand it, horikawa had decided to run away from home. and it was just then that he happened to  run into this handsome stranger, he had thought it to be his ticket to freedom, and yet.... the man was only a boy, and 12 years old at that.   
horikawa sighed again.   
kanesan had finally quieted down, only sobbing once in a while. but he now seemed angry,  "is there a problem?" he snapped, eyes still shining with tears   
"of course there’s a problem!" horikawa said, shaking his head  

"so what if im 12, im not a kid anymore" kanesan banged his fists on the table, "its true love, isn't it?"  he banged his fists on the table again, and the manager walked over, looking incredibly angry.   
"sir...you are disrupting our  other guests...as an adult, you should know to behave better. please take your lovers spat somewhere else"  

kanesan gasped, feeling very insulted, "how dare you call me an adult, i am only 12 years old. also, do you not know who i am?"  horikawa, who had already started to gather up his belongings ( which there were quite a few of, seeing as how he was in the  middle of running away) paused.   
yes, just who was this brat?   
"i am izuminokami kanesada, i am certain you’ve heard my name, or  at least my father’s?"   
the manager gasped, and horikawa found himself smiling. kanesada, was it? even if he was a mere brat,  perhaps it wasn’t so bad, after all the kanesadas were well known for their political and economic influence, and even more than  that, their immense amount of wealth.   
horikawa looked at kanesan, and fluttered his eyelashes, "darling, let’s leave this  shabby place, everyone here is so rude! take me to your place instead, please ♡"

kanesan blushed, did horikawa want to meet his parents already? they had just met, but he could tell, this was destiny.

surely, this was true love...   
"ya, sure, lets go" he said as eloquently as he could, "my sweatheart"   
horikawa almost blushed, but mostly he was appalled.    
anyway, they took kanesan’s limousine back to his mansion, and horikawa met with kasen kanesada, who was currently a presidential candidate. kasen immediately took a liking to the boy, "my, you’re a cute one...how old are you, the same  age as my izumi?"   
horikawa shook his head, and feeling slightly embarrassed he looked at his feet, "mother, i am 16"

kasen smiled, "well, that is no problem, if i didn’t know better, i would think my son is 30."    
after that, there was only one  problem left..... kanesan was far too young to legally get married. horikawa started to cry, had he come this far just to taste  disappointment ? but no, just then the results of the election came in, kasen was now president!   
"you two can get married now,  as president, this is my first new law. izuminokami kanesada must marry horikawa kunihiro right this instant."  horikawa started crying again, but this time it was because he was happy. kanesan was also crying, but he is always crying, so it didn't really mean anything. they got married, and there was good food, and horikawa’s heart no longer hurt even when he saw his brother-in-law, mikazuki.   
  
but kanesan was still unsure about one thing, "umm...just checking but   ...  ur name is horikawa kunihiro, right?"    
horikawa giggled, "look how cool we are, getting married without even knowing each others  names!"   
kanesan also laughed, and then held horikawas hand. he was still 12, so they were going to wait until he turned 18  before he could kiss horikawa on the cheek.   
  
they lived happily ever after, with lots of love.   
  
the end

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. sexy maid joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silas has been in love with Joker for as far as he can remember, but he's certain that the butler will never return his feelings. So he's certainly confused when Joker starts behaving rather strangely around him...also..why is he dressed like that?
> 
> (Spoilers: There's no good reason for the maid dress.)

“Oh no, how could I have made such a mistake!” Joker exclaims as he accidentally on purpose knocks tea leaves all over the floor, “Silly me, I’ll clean that right up.”

“This isn’t really like you, are you feeling alright?” Silas asks, his eyebrows creasing together, a clear look of concern on his face. It isn’t just Joker’s unusual clumsiness that has him worried, but also his current state of attire.

Silas swallows, and looks away as Joker bends down to pick up each individual tea leaf. He’s dressed in a frilly maid dress, not much different from the ones that Flora and Felicia wear. But on Joker, it’s a little too short, and while Silas has never understood the appeal of maid dresses, there’s a strange hot feeling burning inside him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the skirt lift even higher as Joker bends over again, revealing the soft skin of his thighs.

Silas fidgets with his hands, trying his absolute best to resist taking a peek. 

“This isn’t like me?” Joker says, and Silas looks up from his lap. It’s a mistake, the sight that meets his eyes is that of Joker’s thighs, and the sweetly curved flesh just above it. Silas draws his eyes away quickly, but the image of lacy black panties stretched over Joker’s quite sumptuous bottom won’t leave his mind.

Joker continues speaking, “Perhaps it isn’t, but you see, it’s just so hard for me to keep calm when I’m around you. I strive to be the most impeccable butler, all the better to serve Lady Corrin with, but around you...I’m really such a mess.”

Silas feels the back of his neck grow sticky with sweat, “I…”

He doesn’t know what to say in response to this, but he’s starting to feel a little uncomfortable down there. He tries to excuse himself, “I..I need to go, I’ll see you later.”

Silas only gets a single foot out the door before Joker’s arms wrapped around his torso stop him. He’s feeling even more confused now, and a little too aroused. 

Joker’s breath ghosts over his neck when he speaks, drawing a shudder from Silas.

“Don’t leave,” he whispers, his body pressed against Silas is hot, and his arm snakes across his chest. His hand inches lower, and this time Silas gasps, “Allow me to assist you with this.”

Silas shakes his head, eyes nearly teary, “Please don’t...don’t touch me.”

“Why not?” Even with his back to him, Silas can clearly imagine the playful smirk on Joker’s lips, “You like me, don’t you?”

His breath catches, “I do but...you don’t even see me as a friend, forget anything more.”

Joker laughs, “Is that what you think?”

Silas removes Joker’s arms from around his waist, and turns around. He takes a step forward, pushing Joker against the wall, his usual nonchalant smile is gone, replaced with a frown. 

Joker notes the way his hands shake, and the red flush across his face with a small grin.

When Silas speaks, his voice is firm, “Is it that fun to tease me?”

Joker laughs, “Of course it is, I can’t think of anything more enjoyable.”

The furrow in between his eyebrows grows, and Silas looks away from Joker’s eyes, “My feelings aren’t a joke, I wish you wouldn’t play with my heart like this.”

Joker grabs the back of Silas’ head, bringing him closer, his voice is sultry when he speaks, “I’m also serious.”

The look on Silas’ face changes, his eyes growing wide for just a second. In the next second, his lips have perfectly captured Joker’s. It’s a short kiss, their lips barely brush against each others before Silas draws back. His expression is a little unreadable, before growing troubled again. He meets Joker’s lips again, his hesitance slipping away when the other man pulls him closer.

Now, he kisses him almost aggressively, with passion, and Joker returns all of that passion equally. Silas finally draws back, his breath heavy, “Is it really alright?”

The hopeful look in his eyes reminds Joker of a puppy, and some kind instinct he didn’t know he  causes him to reach forward and place a small kiss on his cheek. He laughs, “Of course it’s alright. Now, let’s not waste any further time.”

He pulls Silas flush against him, before joining their lips together. Silas also does not plan to waste any time, and

  
  


what the fuk is this

  
  
  
  
  



	4. Mr. Sexy Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even after all these years, Law is unable to forget about Cora-san, his fifth grade teacher and his first love. A test of courage through the graveyard is sure to be heart pounding, but perhaps Law's heart will pound for another reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a friend, since writing the most absolute awful fanfic of friends otps is how I show my love.

Law was absolutely regretting all of his decisions from the past hour. 

He was stranded in a graveyard, and he couldn’t even hear his friends anymore, forget see them.  Thick heavy fog obscured his vision, rendering him unable to see more than a few feet ahead. Honestly, who had thought this would be a good idea? Even if it was in the spirit of Halloween, he should have known better than to trust his friends and go for a walk in a graveyard in the middle of the night.

No, he wasn’t here because he trusted them, rather it was the opposite. He had been worried for their sakes, afraid they might get into some trouble or another and had thought that perhaps his presence might be able to sway their decision. That clearly had not worked, and now he was lost.

The fog seemed to be growing thicker, and shit, a cloud rolled over the moon and now his only source of light was his flashlight. And even his flashlight seemed like it’d be as dead as all the bodies buried beneath him with the way it kept flickering.

He seemed to have made it to the new section at least, the dates on the tombstones were from only a decade or so before. This relieved him, if only a little. He should be closer to an exit now, but there was still his other worry. Where were his friends? 

His flashlight sputtered again, and then went dead. This couldn’t be happening. He smacked his hand against it, and it seemed to work for another second. The light went dead again, and he tripped on a tree root. His hand caught the edge of a grave as he fell, stopping him from hitting the ground face first. His knees felt scuffed however, his jeans had probably torn. He made a small whimpering sound, as if the situation wasn’t already bad enough.

Law’s eyes fell upon the tombstone with which he had saved himself from an almost nasty fall, and then his heart nearly stopped within his chest. He knew this name.

Suddenly, tears sprung to his eyes. His beloved teacher, Cora-san was buried here. He had tried to bury his memories of him, but had always been unable to do so. Cora-san had been his first love, he had been a tall and handsome man, and a fifth grade Law couldn’t have helped but fall for him at first sight.

Of course, this first love had ended in tragedy, otherwise Cora-san would not be six feet under right now. The day after the Law had graduated from elementary school, he had been found dead. The police and doctors were unable to ascertain what his cause of death was, but it had seemed that he had tripped on nothing at all and split his skull.

Law started to sob, if only Cora-san had not been such a clumsy man. Perhaps he could have still been alive to this day, perhaps Law could have confessed his feelings to him. Law was a medical student now, but what did it matter if he could do nothing to revive the one he loved most?

The more he thought about Cora-san, the more it brought tears to his eyes. Cora-san’s smile, so kind, and so sensual. Cora-san’s tall and built figure, his impressive chest bursting with muscle. Law could feel a burning sensation within his lower stomach, but this was nothing new. He had touched himself many times thinking of Cora-san, but tonight he felt just a little guilty. He undid his belt buckle, and leaned against the marble stone. Cora-san was so close to him right now, but also so far. Another wave of guilt wracked him as he slipped his hand inside his boxers, what if Cora-san could see him right now? What if his ghost was watching his unsightly behavior? Somehow, this turned him on even more.

“Cora-san…” He breathed out, shutting his eyes tight.

“Law, is that you?” Cora-san’s voice replied, and Law shivered at the sensation of breath against his ear. He had imagined it many times, Cora-san touching him back, and tonight it felt a little too real.

“c-Cora-san...please…”

A hand touched his face, cool to the touch. Law leaned his face against it, and slowly blinked his eyes open. It felt much too real, as if Cora-san was really there.

He screamed. 

“Calm down, calm down!” Cora-san smiled, seated on the ground next to him. A ghostly blue light was cast around him, as if showcasing his fine features. “That is you, right, Law?”

Law nodded his head, “But how...why…?”

Cora-san laughed, “It must be the magic of Halloween, but my, you’ve grown up to be quite handsome.”

“Th-thank you,” Law stuttered, unable to believe that this was real. He moved closer, tackling Cora-san in a tight hug. More tears dripped down his face, “I’ve always wanted to see you again...I’m so happy…”

Cora-san wrapped his arms around him, “I’m also glad to see you Law, but you see there’s a little problem.”

Law tilted his head to the side, “What is it?”

“You see...it’s been over ten years since I died…” the tone of Cora-san’s voice dipped lower, a little sultry, “I’m very hungry...would you let me eat you?”

“E-eat me?!” Law shivered, suddenly feeling scared. It hadn’t bothered him at all that Cora-san was a ghost, but now he realized it was definitely a cause for concern.

“Yes…” Cora-san pushed Law away, only to tip his face up by the chin, “You look quite delicious. These lips of yours look as sweet as candy corn, allow me to have a bite.”

Law blushed, and though he was still afraid and did not want to be eaten, he could feel himself growing even more aroused. Perhaps it would not be that bad to be eaten, if it was Cora-san who devoured him. He nodded his head.

Cora-san smiled, and then brought his lips against Law’s. With the sweet way that Cora-san had been talking, Law had thought that it would be a sweet, soft kiss. It was anything but. Cora-san immediately invaded his hot cavern, his tongue rough and wild. He bit and sucked at Law’s lower lip, and suddenly Law did not feel afraid anymore. Rather, he felt horny. He traced his hand across Cora-san’s wide chest, and began to unbutton his shirt.

Cora-san broke the kiss, smirking down at Law, “Well aren’t you being hasty, my sweet kitten.”

Law gasped, he knew he was being quite forward, and it was embarrassing to be called out on it. But he did not care, he was so hard he thought his dick might break. He lapped his tongue against Cora-san’s neck, before biting down on it.

He breathed out, “Sensei...I want you to haunt my butt  ♥ ...please.”

Law shifted uncomfortably on top of Cora-san’s lap, but he could feel the bulge packed within his tight pants. He shivered with desire, “Please...I want you. Even if you’re dead, Cora-sensei...this part of you is still so lively...please, I want you right now.”

Cora-san narrowed his eyes, a look of hot lust deep within them, “Of course. I’ll haunt you forever, if that’s what you want.”

Law smiled, wrapping his arms around Cora-san’s neck and pulling him down. His back knocked against the tombstone, this wasn’t the most comfortable place but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter when his mind was only consumed with thoughts of Cora-san deep inside him, making an absolutely filthy mess of him.

Cora-san’s lovewand emerged from within his boxers, and Law gasped.

“So big…” He could feel saliva pooling in his mouth, “What a spooky, sexy dick. You look delicious, Sensei.”

“But you look even tastier, I can’t wait to eat you right up.” He stripped Law’s underwear off, and chuckled, “I want to carve your ass like a jack o’ lantern. So cute, this secret place of yours.”

“a-Ah...don’t look… ♥ ” Law’s face flushed, hotter than the gates of hell. 

“Why not?” He smiled, and stabbed a finger inside of Law’s love cavern, “My, you’re already so wet. You’re twitching around my finger, do you want me that badly?”   
Law nodded his head, gasping and choking, “Nnn  ♥ ..I want you..AaaaAhn…  ♥.. So badly...Cora-sensei…”

Cora-san withdrew his finger, “You’ve stirred me up too far, Law...even if you cry, I won’t stop.”

“I don’t want you to...aaAah...stop  ♥ ” Law replied, raising his hips up towards Cora-san, offering him a nice view of his sex cave absolutely dripping with love juice.

Cora-san’s smile grew, and Law thought that if it shone any brighter, surely he would be blinded by it. 

Without any warning, Cora-san thrusted in with one sharp movement, until his love missile was deep within Law. With his sword firmly sheathed within him, he kissed him again, and then let his lips carry down to Law’s jaw, his neck, and then his nipples.

“c-Cora-san..AaaaAAHn  ♥ ...over there… ♥ .. is..aaAa..no good..hhhAhh.. ♥ ” Law gasped and moaned.

Cora-san chuckled before sucking on his cute rosebuds. He whispered, his voice nothing but desire, “Your voice is so sweet...keep calling my name, Law.” 

He started to move, hitting deep inside Law with every hard thrust. Law moaned cutely, his hands raking against Cora-san’s back, “Nnn  ♥ ...Cora-san...c-Cora.. ♥ .sa..Ahnn...Harder… ♥ ”

Cora-san grinned, shoving harder and harder into Law, and within the silence of the graveyard nothing could be heard other than Law’s cute gasps and the sinful sound of flesh slapping.

“haaAah...No more...I’ll break  ♥ ..aah,” Law moaned, “I’m going to  ♥ ...Ahn.. ♥ ...Please don’t stop...hhaaaahh... ♥”

Law’s entire body shuddered, and then he exploded. Cora-san flooded him from inside, filling him up with love and more love.

Suddenly, Law burst out into tears. Cora-san looked at him perplexed, and licked the crystalline drops off his cheeks. He whispered, “What’s wrong, my darling?”

Law shook his head, “It’s...it’s just that...what if I never see you again...Tonight feels like a dream, but what happens when I wake up? Everything will be over.”

Cora-san chuckled, “Don’t cry, Law...from now on, we’ll be together. I told you I’d haunt you forever.”

Law looked up at him, eyes wide with disbelief, “What do you mean?”   
“The truth is,” He placed a hand gently on the side of Law’s face, “There’s one way for me to stay within the world of the living.”   
“Uuuu...really?” Law looked as if he might sob again, so Cora-san captured his lips with his own. It was a much sweeter kiss than before, but no less full of passion.

“Yes, nothing can sustain me other than your sex juice,” Cora-san laughed at Law’s shocked expression, before nipping at his ear, “There’s no one I desire other than you, and it is this very desire that allows me to be with you even after death.”

Law wrapped his arms tightly around Cora-san, “That’s wonderful...I’m so happy…”

“Me too, my dear Law.” He smiled, “Please allow me to lovingly haunt your ass from now on.”

“Of course, I couldn’t ask for anything better.”


	5. stir me up like spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kane-san's a waiter at a popular restaurant, and the chef, Horikawa Kunihiro, catches his eye. Even though Kane-san is not only tall, attractive, and sexy, there's a curse that makes falling in love a little difficult for him. Will he get his happy ending, or will it be a...spicy ending?

Kane-san is a little nervous, it’s his first day on the job and he’s afraid of making a mess. It’s not that he’s clumsy, he is...but only a little bit, but rather there’s a curse on him. It’s a curse in name only, other times he considers it a blessing. Every male anywhere within fifteen meters of him, without fail, ends up attracted to him. It makes life a little difficult, and he’s worried that it might cause trouble for him today. What if the restaurant gets swarmed with customers, and they start fighting over him?

There’s one other thing though, this feeling of attraction never lasts any longer than fifteen minutes. This is why Kane-san considers it to be such a curse, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to fall in love properly like this.

But that’s not important right now, he has a job to do, and he intends to do it well. He writes down the order for a table of four, and he feels somewhat relieved that this restaurant is mainly popular with females. He’s popular with girls too, of course, but that’s solely due to his good looks and nothing else.

He flashes his best business smile, and one of the girls almost faints into her glass of soda. 

Kane-san seems to have that affect on people, so he doesn’t really mind it. He heads towards the back, where the door to the kitchen is. 

“Kunihiro,” he calls to the chef, getting his attention. The chef looks up at him, and Kane-san’s words catch in his throat. He has never felt this way towards anyone else before, his heart is pounding louder than a freight train roaring down it’s track.

He swallows, “I got a new order.”

Kane-san’s hands fumble with the notepad, and he tries to convince himself it’s the heated air of the kitchen making him feel like this. Ah, Kunihiro’s eyes look so cool and blue, he wants to take a swim in them. Suddenly, his eyes are even closer, and Kane-san finds himself shutting his own tightly. Kunihiro’s warm breath dances over his skin, and Kane-san is glad he left so much of his shirt unbuttoned because he definitely wants the chef to get a view of his voluptuous rack.

There’s a cool touch on his forehead, and Kane-san’s eyes startle open. Kunihiro has placed the back of his hand to Kane-san’s forehead, and his other hand to his own. Kunihiro frowns, “I thought you might be sick, you looked a little hot.”

“I don’t look a little hot, I look a lot hot. I always do.”

Kunihiro doesn’t laugh at Kane-san’s amazing comedic sense, and continues talking strictly business, “If you’re feeling alright, then don’t slack. What’s the order?”

Kane-san frowns, but relays the order. This is strange though, something like this has never happened before. Why doesn’t Kunihiro respond to his curse? Even if it means heartbreak after, Kane-san doesn’t mind, just fifteen minutes with the sexy chef would be enough for him.

The rest of his shift continues to pass peacefully, much too peacefully for Kane-san’s liking. Kunihiro continues to be an entirely decent guy, and refuses to make a move on him. Even after Kane-san has unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his perfect abs, even letting Kunihiro catch sight of a nipple, the older man doesn’t even bat an eye. Instead, Kane-san gets a warning in return. No matter how much confidence he has, it’s still indecent to flash so much skin in a professional setting.

Kane-san forces himself to keep smiling, he cannot let the customers sense his true feelings, no matter how upset he is.

The sun begins to sink below the horizon, and that’s when Kane-san catches his first taste of excitement.

He’s sent to a table near the back, to get the customer’s order. It’s a man, and a part of Kane-san wonders if his curse has broken, since Kunihiro absolutely refuses to make out with him.

Kane-san gives the customer a beaming smile, and a warm welcome, before discussing the day’s special. 

“Is there anything spicy on the menu?” The man asks, and Kane-san tries to remember.

Before he can say anything, the man has grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer, “Is there anything spicier than you? Rather than eat here, I think I want you for take out.”

Kane-san swallows. He needs to handle this in a calm, collected manner. He can’t afford to lose this job, after all he’s saving up for a pair of designer boots. He tries to wriggle his hand out of the customer’s grasp, but the old man is much stronger than he looks. 

Kane-san smiles, his voice honeyed, “Please let go, dear guest. I’m afraid that’s not on the menu, instead, might I recommend the--”

He’s cut off again, “I said I want you, stupid waiter. Stupid, sexy waiter.”

At this point, some of the other tables have fallen silent and are watching the spectacle. Kane-san needs to resolve this quickly, before it becomes an even further commotion.

Kane-san racks his brain, trying to come up with an appropriate solution. Sadly, he is more boobs than brains, and cannot think of anything. He is spared from the difficult challenge that thinking presents, when a voice speaks out firmly next to him.

“Excuse me, sir.”

The man starts to grumble, but stops when he realizes who is addressing him. Kane-san looks over his shoulder. It’s Kunihiro, and his heart begins to do a little tap dance inside his ribcage. Tappity tappity tap.

The man immediately lets go of Kane-san’s arm, Kunihiro’s charisma is overpowering, and flows from him the same way that mucus flows from a snail.

“Has our waiter caused you any trouble?” 

The man sits up straight, and shakes his head, his voice trembles, “N-none at all. I was just about to tell him my order.”

Kunihiro smiles, and Kane-san feels his knees go weak. It is through sheer force of will alone that he continues standing, and doesn’t simply swoon. He wonders if Kunihiro would catch him if he did.

After the old man gives his order, Kunihiro returns to the kitchen. There is no further incident after that, but the chef gives Kane-san a strange look every time they bump into each other. Kane-san can’t understand what it means though, what significance does this slight creasing of Kunihiro’s brow contain?

 

Finally, the day is over. Kunihiro is in the kitchen, preparing for the next morning, while Kane-san is out in the dining area properly arranging chairs, and tossing out old flower arrangements.

“Kanesada, come here.” Kunihiro calls from the kitchen. Kane-san chucks one last bunch of flowers into the trash, then wipes his hands on his pants before heading inside.

“Yeah?” He wonders if he should just give up on Kunihiro, even after the entire day the older man has shown no interest in him. Besides whatever those strange glances mean, he’s barely even looked at him. 

But Izuminokami Kanesada never gives up, so he leans forward, resting his elbows on the counter. His shirt flutters open to reveal his cleavage, and he speaks in the most flirtarious tone he can manage, “Kunihiro~ you should just call me Kane-san.”

Kunihiro frowns at this, he seems to be doing a lot of that ever since the rowdy customer. He reaches over and buttons up Kane-san’s shirt, the tips of his fingers almost brushing against the younger man’s skin. Kane-san shudders, his face tinting strawberry pink.

“Did you want dinner, Kane-san?” Kunihiro smiles, and Kane-san feels as if his heart has stopped. Not one but two attacks, and at such a level. It’s almost too much.

Kane-san nods his head, “Yeah, but I’m hungry for something else.”

“I didn’t even tell you what I’m cooking, do you like spaghetti?” Kunihiro says with a laugh, “But I guess I wouldn’t mind eating this right now.”

He gives Kane-san’s ass a firm squeeze. Kane-san can’t believe this is actually happening, that this is real. Before he has time to really let it sink in, Kunihiro already has him lying with his back flat against the counter, their tongues intertwined in a fierce battle.

Kane-san feels as if he could cry, and then tears begin to flow from his eyes. Kunihiro breaks the kiss, and places a gentle hand on the side of his face, “What’s wrong, sugartits, are you feeling alright?”

Kane-san shakes his head, and sobs. It takes him a while to collect his thoughts, and Kunihiro patiently waits for him, idly chopping a tomato into tiny pieces as he does.

“Why...why did you kiss me?”

Kunihiro sets the knife down, “Because you’re hot, a lot hot.”

“That’s...that’s just because of the curse...you don’t actually love me…” 

“Well yeah, I just met you today ---”

Kane-san refuses to listen to the rest of Kunihiro’s words, not that he can hear him over the sound of his heart smashing into a million little pieces. He runs out of the restaurant, and runs and runs until he reaches home.

Kunihiro doesn’t love him. Kane-san had thought it would be alright, even fifteen minutes of pure pleasure should have been enough that he’d be able to endure everything else. But he couldn’t even manage to bang Kunihiro, the second he’d realized that the older man didn’t return his affections, it was as if the very earth had disappeared from beneath his feet. How would he face him tomorrow, what if Kunihiro was disgusted for having made out with him while under a curse. What if Kunihiro had noticed he hadn’t brushed his teeth this morning. 

There were so many thoughts running through Kane-san’s head, but eventually he managed to cry himself to sleep.

 

Kane-san wakes up near noon. That is okay, his shift doesn’t start until later in the evening. He slowly gets out of bed, he feels so tired, sad, and alone. There are crusty dried tears on his face, and when he sees himself in the mirror, his reflection is the very image of heartbreak. Very sexy heartbreak, but still very sad.

He takes a shower, and since washing and drying and combing his hair takes so long, it is nearly time for him to leave for work by the time that he is done with it all.

Kane-san’s appearance is perfect by the time he has arrived at the restaurant, and there is no one that can tell that he is forcing his sexy killer smile. A few of the customers faint as he walks by, and usually he would feel a sense of pride in this, but today he feels nothing.

He greets Kunihiro with his standard dazzling smile, trying to shove the events of yesterday behind him. It’s no use, and he runs off to the staff bathroom to have himself another good cry.

After that, he avoids Kunihiro as best as he can, which proves to be difficult. So instead, he avoids meeting Kunihiro’s eyes, and while it doesn’t help a whole lot, it does help a little.

Kane-san takes a sip of his energy drink as he waits out his break. He’s reclined on the sofa in the staff room, his legs sprawled out in a very tempting way.

He sighs, but it’s not tempting enough for Kunihiro, is it? 

Just then, the door opens. It’s Kunihiro.

Kane-san ignores him, instead focusing on his Red Bull. Even though it’s his favorite drink, today it tastes sharp and bitter. Like sadness. 

Kunihiro walks over to him, “Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

Kane-san pretends as if he has suddenly developed an interest in the nutritional facts printed on the side.

“I wanted to finish what I was saying last night, will you hear me out?”

Kane-san slams his unfinished can down, and a few droplets of energy drink splash out. He stands up, “I don’t want to see you right now.”

He leaves the room, his heart crumbling again.

But if Kane-san is persistent, Kunihiro is no less.

Kunihiro chases Kane-san out into the kitchen, and grabs onto Kane-san’s hand. Kane-san turns around, a gasp on his lips.

His fluster quickly dies down, and he responds angrily, “Didn’t you hear me? I don’t want to see you right now.”

Kunihiro shakes his head, “I don’t care. I need to talk to you, let’s head somewhere a little more private.”

He throws the door to the large freezer open, and pulls Kane-san inside after him.

Kane-san raises an eyebrow, of all places, why here? But even though Kunihiro usually takes more care with things like this, today he seems to have lost his cool, just a little.

He stands on a stool, and pins Kane-san to the wall. Kane-san tries to avoid Kunihiro’s eyes, but the electric blue draws him in, and his lips part open softly.

“Kane-san,” Kunihiro whispers, “I don’t know what this has to do with a curse, but my feelings for you are real. Even if we met just yesterday, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I can’t forget about these feelings, and I feel as if there’s really something between us.

“As if this love is something that started centuries ago, and not just 24 hours ago.”

“Kunihiro,” Kane-san gasps again, but then shakes his head, “Are you sure? Is that really how you feel?”

Kunihiro smiles, and it is the most beautiful thing that Kane-san has ever seen in his life. Perhaps if it were any more radiant, then it could replace the sun as the center of the galaxy.

He leans in closer, his breath hot as it slinks over Kane-san’s collarbones. He presses a steamy kiss to his neck, before whispering seductively, “Should I prove it to you?”

Kane-san shuts his eyes, a soft whimper leaving his lips.

Kunihiro laughs, and places a finger on top of Kane-san’s cute lips, “But that’ll have to wait until later, I need to get back to work.”   
He steps off the stool, and leaves the large freezer. Kane-san watches him, and even though it’s definitely below freezing in here, he feels as if he’s burning up. Everywhere that Kunihiro touched him is hot, so hot.

He stands inside the freezer just a little longer, hoping that he’ll cool down a little. The heat inside his stomach doesn’t subside, and neither does the fire burning inside his heart, but the tips of his hair do become frosty. 

 

After the rest of the restaurant staff have left, Kunihiro and Kane-san have a date. In Kunihiro’s opinion, there is no better, more romantic setting than the private rooms at their own workplace, and no better dinner than his own cooking. 

Kane-san waits inside the room, his hands fidgeting with the tablecloth he just set. He adjusts and readjusts the rose scented candles on the table, and pours himself a glass of iced water. Kunihiro said he wanted to start off their relationship slowly, rather than rushing into things. Kane-san is grateful for that, he is unsure how well his heart would be able to handle it otherwise. He is barely able to keep standing when Kunihiro is in the same room as him, the man simply oozes sexiness, the same way an octopus oozes it’s black ink. 

Kunihiro enters the room, carrying two trays laden with food. A plate of spaghetti with meatballs, fettucine with alfredo sauce, and another plate with macaroni and cheese. It is a lot of pasta, but Kunihiro explains, “Pasta is...sexy.”

Kane-san digs in immediately, swallowing a meatball whole. He begins to choke however, face streaming with tears. His vision starts to blacken but suddenly, everything is alright again. Kunihiro performs cpr on him, even though simply kissing someone is not cpr. It works regardless, the power of love is more than enough to resuscitate Kane-san, and he falls against Kunihiro’s chest, his breath leaving him in heated gasps. His face is the exact shade of red as the marinara sauce set on the table, to accompany the cheesesticks.

Kunihiro thinks that Kane-san looks quite sexy right now, but more than that, he is concerned, “Sugarnips, are you feeling alright? Does anything hurt?”

Kane-san shakes his head, “No, I’m not alright...I’m so turned on right now.”

Kunihiro’s eyes widen for just a second, and he leans closer to whisper, “I wanted to take things slowly, but you look so delicious right now, so irresistable. Allow me to have a little taste.”

Kane-san wraps his arms around Kunihiro, and pulls them both down onto the table. This is somewhat of a fire hazard, but Kunihiro blows out the candle, averting disaster.

“Don’t just have a little taste, I want you to eat all of me.”

Kunihiro smirks, “Bon appetit.”

He kisses Kane-san with passion, their lips smacking loudly against each other. The kiss tastes of crushed garlic, olive oil, and just a pinch of oregano. But more overpowering than that is the taste of love, and Kane-san melts like butter on a skillet.

Kunihiro works fast, Kane-san’s shirt is already open and has slipped off his shoulders. Kunihiro takes in the sight of Kane-san’s bare chest, eyeing him hungrily the way one would a feast. Kane-san’s skin is as pale as skim milk, and his nipples as fresh and rosy as cherry tomatoes. Kunihiro places a kiss against his creamy skin, and Kane-san moans, his voice crying out with lust.

Kunihiro drops a meatball onto Kane-san’s chest, and it rolls across his skin, trailing spicy pasta sauce behind it. Kane-san shudders at this, and gasps again. Kunihiro pushes the meatball into his mouth, silencing him. Kane-san chews it slowly, properly savoring the taste, and he finally realizes the true meaning behind Kunihiro’s words. Pasta is sexy. Pasta is the truest expression of love.

Kunihiro begins to lap at Kane-san’s chest, licking all of the spaghetti sauce off his nipples. Kane-san shivers with pleasure, and even more so when Kunihiro’s tongue begins to trail a little lower. Kunihiro rips off Kane-san’s pants and sexy black boxers in one go, letting the shreds of cloth flutter to the floor. 

He takes in the sight of Kane-san’s dick, licking his lips. It is the size and thickness of his favorite italian sausage, and he just can’t wait to have a taste. Smacking his lips hungrily, he breathes out, “Mamma mia, that’s some spicy meatballs.”

He takes Kane-san into his mouth, letting his lover’s sexy aroma fill his throat. Even with how much pride he has in his cooking, in truth there is nothing more delicious than this very tasty part of Kane-san.

Kane-san shudders at this, growing even more aroused. He finally finishes the morsel of food in his mouth, and finding it unfair that Kunihiro is the only one getting to talk dirty, attempts to do the same, “Kunihiro, do you know why pasta is so sexy? It’s because it’s like a dick, but do you know why?”

Kunihiro takes Kane-san’s fine piece of lasagna out of his mouth to respond, “Tell me, why is that, babe?”

“Sometimes it's soft, sometimes it’s hard,” a bit of saliva seeps from the corner of Kane-san’s mouth, “Kunihiro...right now, I want your uncooked pasta.”

Kunihiro decides that there is no longer any point in trying to hold back, and his dick firmly agrees with him. He reaches past Kane-san, past a bottle of olive oil, and grabs the plate of fettucine alfredo.

He smears his fingers into the sauce, until they are well coated. Kunihiro then applies his alfredo sauce-coated fingers to Kane-san’s ass, and savors the gasps he receives in return.

“My, that looks tasty,” Kunihiro says at the sight of Kane-san’s twitching love cavern. 

“Please...eat me..♡” Kane-san says, his voice full of need.

Kunihiro complies, thrusting in forcefully. Kane-san’s insides are as hot as a brick oven, and Kunihiro grunts, a sound of absolute pleasure.

Kane-san continues to moan, louder and louder yet, and manages to shatter a water jug with his voice alone. The broken jug is ignored, with how lost in pleasure the two are.

Kunihiro explodes, and Kane-san’s insides are filled to the brim with his special love sauce. Kane-san finishes right after, and they both lie on the table, just enjoying each other’s company.

Kane-san is certain that his curse is broken now, what other proof does he need? Kunihiro’s eyes and lips spell out nothing but love, and Kane-san is sure he’ll never hunger for love again.

Kunihiro shifts on top of Kane-san and speaks after kissing him passionately, “Now that the entree is done, let’s start the main course.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, what the fk even.


	6. I love you the way the stars love the moob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Mikazuki catches wind of his lover, Tsurumaru, cheating on him, he decides that two can play the game. But at the heart of this twisted mess, Mikazuki's feelings for Tsurumaru are still pure and untainted. Will these two starcrossed lovers ever make it back to each other's side?
> 
> a twitter fic, somewhat sloppy.

mikazuki and tsurumaru have been going out for centuries, there is no love stronger than theirs. but recently, their relationship has grown a little stale...tsurumaru tells his older lover, "i love you but... i think we should take a break ..."

mikazuki agrees, thinking that tsurumaru only needs a little time to himself, though it hurts deep inside to think that his boyfriend might have grown tired of him, after all, mikazuki is not getting any younger. but still, he tries to have faith in him. it all changes though, when one day he sees tsurumaru with the cute trendy, and most importantly, younger, kashuu. mikazuki cannot seem to find words as he sees them walking down a crowded street, hand in hand with tsurumaru carrying several shopping bags in one hand. He never did that for me, mikazuki thinks a little bitterly. of course, that was because mikazuki, as an heir to an esteemed corporation, always had several attendants with him to carry everything for him, and as a gentleman he definitely could not permit his beloved to take such a burden upon himself.   
But that does not matter now, not when mikazuki has tasted jealousy for the first time.   
"Ah, is that what this feeling is..." he thinks outloud, in the middle of the street, and several passerby give him an odd look. They shrug though, it must be the old age. mikazuki, though very upset, realizes he must do something to win his lover's heart back. he constructs a very careful plan, one that is certain to guarantee success. he can almost feel tsurumaru in his arms again, his gentle voice whispering lovingly to him, "i love you, mikazuki, the way the stars love the moon."   
and at that time, mikazuki will whisper back, nuzzling against tsurumaru's silken white hair, "likewise, i love you too tsurumaru, as surely as the moon loves the sky." so, mikazuki carries out his plan. he begins to date horikawa kunihiro, one of the maids that works at his mansion. 

horikawa is a beautiful boy, though of course, in mikazuki's eyes there is none that can parallel tsurumaru. horikawa's eyes sparkle blue like the ocean, and he has a cute pink lipped smile. and his figure is also no joke, a perfect waist and a cute petite height. mikazuki is certain that tsurumaru will feel something upon seeing horikawa clinging to his arm. it's quite cute how he answers back, "yes, mikazuki-sama" to all of his demands, so perhaps his concern should be whether or not he will fall for horikawa first, or if tsurumaru will beg to have him back.

  
he runs into his former lover at the botanical gardens but it is not mere coincidence, after all the sanjou's influence is widespread, and it is not difficult at all to get a peek at tsurumaru's diary, and see what he has planned for the week.... a date with kashuu, under the blossoms.

mikazuki feels a bitter taste fill his mouth when kogitsunemaru reports back to him about this, after all, this was the place that he first asked tsurumaru out, all those hundreds of years ago. he wonders if tsurumaru has changed, after all this time.

did it mean nothing to him after all, is this place only significant to mikazuki? a single tear rolls down mikazuki's cheek, and horikawa wipes it off neatly, before placing a kiss on his cheek.

"What troubles you, Mikazuki-sama?" his eyes are filled with a look of concern, and his voice with adoration, "is there anything i can do to ease your pain ?"   
mikazuki shakes his head, "i am fine, my sweet horikawa. but it would truly pleasure me if you would go on a date with me next week."   
horikawa blushes, and smiles with the smile that has earned him the name, "sweet horikawa"

"the pleasure would be all mine, mikazuki-sama. everything i am, and everything i do, it is all for you."    
mikazuki's smile is as thin and as beautiful as the crescent moon.

 

the day arrives, bright and sunny. horikawa wears the dress that mikazuki has picked out for him, short to show off his nice legs and cut low to show his exquisite chest. mikazuki is dressed in expensive, branded clothing, but that does not mean it is very stylish. but to horikawa, he looks incredibly dashing, and as they walk through the park, he holds on to mikazuki's arm, letting his chest rub against it, in an ill fated attempt to seduce the old man.

mikazuki stops walking when his gaze falls upon tsurumaru, right in front of him. tsurumaru recognized him from quite a distance off. mikazuki on the other hand intentionally forgot his glasses in the car, since he looks much more handsome without them. it's a little hard to see like this, since he's getting up in the years, but there is no way he could mistake tsurumaru for anyone else.   
he rubs at his eyes to make sure it is not a hallucination, but no, tsurumaru is standing in front of him. mikazuki plays it cool, "hello tsurumaru, it's been a while, hasn't it?"   
horikawa tiptoes to reach mikazuki's ear, his dress slipping a little off his shoulder as he does this, "mikazuki-sama, who is this? he looks like a dead rat, and stinks of cheap perfume."

mikazuki apprehends horikawa with a fierce glare at this, and the younger boy gasps. his expression quickly changes to a pout, why is his boyfriend paying so much attention to this other man ?

the sound of tsurumaru's heartbeat is akin to the sound of kanesan falling down a flight of stairs, though tsurumaru only lets one swear word slip past his lips, "what in tarnation..." he whispers.   
mikazuki's heart almost stills at the sound of tsurumaru's  melodic voice, one that he has yearned to hear for these past three months. 

"yeah, it's been a while." he replies back, as nonchalantly as possible, maybe perhaps a little too laid back seeing as how he picks his nose while talking. mikazuki cannot draw his attention away from tsurumaru's slender pinky, tucked beautifully into his elegant and sharp nose. how he wishes he could be that finger, so close to tsurumaru.  mikazuki draws closer to him, pushing kashuu aside first, so that he can whisper into tsurumaru's ear, "i see how it is .... i have also been quite well," he traces a finger along tsurumaru's perfectly sculpted jawbone, and rests it on his ex-boyfriend's pale pink lips, "but if this pretty little mouth was lying, you will have to do more than beg to earn my love back."   
jiichan laughs, he was so cool just now. tsurumaru will definitely fall back in love with him.   
"come on, horikawa"

he wraps his arms around the boy's shoulder and walks away. they look quite intimate like that, tsurumaru thinks.

in truth, mikazuki's back has started to hurt and he requires horikawa's support to help him walk back to the car.

 

the next day horikawa is actually doing his job for once, dusting the staircase, and right after, dusting the chandeliers. perhaps someone should tell him that it is not such a good idea to be up on a ladder while wearing a short maid dress, but no one has ever said anything. maybe it is because everyone, except for mikazuki, is in love with horikawa and sees no wrong in any of his actions. either way, one of the lightbulbs falls off the chandelier, and breaks two stories below.   
horikawa sighs. 

this week has been somewhat of a rough week for horikawa. all of his plans to seduce his employer have failed, the man will not so much as try to kiss him. horikawa is quite aware of his many charms, his cute butt being among them. how many times has he purposefully tripped in front of mikazuki ? is the old man blind ? perhaps so, horikawa thinks, recalling mikazuki's thick prescription lenses.   
horikawa slowly makes his way back down the ladder, he will need to buy a new lightbulb now, since it broke. he kind of wishes it had survived the fall, but glass rarely does. he puts a coat on above his dress, and leaves the mansion.

home depot is not too far off, and he steps out of the taxi right in front of the store not a whole ten minutes later.

he gasps, and puts a hand in front of his mouth when he sees a familiar figure. he has only met the man once before, but his memory is quite sharp, and his intuition, while slow on certain things, is quite accurate when it comes to matters of love. he labels the man in front of him as an enemy, this white haired man will create a rift between him and mikazuki if he is not careful. horikawa pretends to not see him, but tsurumaru sticks out a foot, effectively tripping horikawa.    
horikawa gets back up angrily, patting the dirt off his maid dress. how dare this man.   
"were you surprised?"   
his voice is surprisingly silky, and   horikawa feels his previous anger evaporate. he meets tsurumaru's eyes, they are creamy and golden, like the inside of a   chocolate egg. horikawa quickly becomes flustered, and while blushing furiously, replies, "y-yes i was quite surprised...   youre quite the looker..."   
tsurumaru gives him a sly grin, "you aren't too bad yourself."

horikawa smiles, and flutters his lashes, "why, thank you. but you see, i'm much more than 'not bad', do you want to find out?"

tsurumaru thinks to himself, if he can steal horikawa away from mikazuki, perhaps he can get mikazuki to love him again.   perhaps mikazuki will look at him again, with eyes full of love.   
the reason he had told him he wanted a break was, after all --   the explanation is cut off when horikawa grabs tsurumaru's tie, bringing the taller man closer. he kisses him on the cheek, and   then winks. "you've got me right in front of you, don't think about other things."   
horikawa says this, but he is also thinking   of several things, though tsurumaru is among them. if he can successfully seduce this kind of stupid looking man, then he will   keep away from mikazuki, meaning that horikawa will have his boyfriend's heart all too himself. horikawa licks his lips at the   thought, what a delicious prospect.   
and of course, it is no concern if mikazuki finds out about horikawa's little affair, perhaps   he will finally learn to treasure horikawa properly.

it is just then that a shiny black limousine slides to a stop in front of the stretch of sidewalk that tsurumaru and horikawa are   currently occupying. horikawa's heart beats, there are only a few of these in the entire city, one of which belongs to mikazuki...could it be, he's been caught already ?    
the door slams open, and a young man steps out. from this, we can infer that it is not mikazuki, since mikazuki is not a young man, not in body nor in spirit.   
the young man clicks his tongue in irritation, "is this   where you have been, tsurumaru?"   
it is kashuu, and his eyeliner is as sharp as the tone of his voice.   tsurumaru wraps his arms around horikawa, and the boy wrinkles his nose. even if he has a nice face, it doesn't excuse the fact   that he smells like deodorant bought at a garage sale. horikawa tries his best to pay it no mind, and takes advantage of their sudden close proximity by rubbing his absolutely flat chest against tsurumaru and whispering into his ear, "darling, who is that?"

kashuu is not amused at the scene, and strides forward, heels clicking against the cement. he pulls them apart, though horikawa puts up quite a fight, managing to plant at least ten lipsticked kisses on tsurumaru's face before having no choice but to let go.

kashuu looks from tsurumaru to horikawa and back again, looking extremely dissatisfied.   
"what do you think you're doing ? did you lie to me? just so you could go make out with _this_ " kashuu waves a hand at horikawa, who is looking somewhat disheveled at this   point, his hair messy, and his lipstick smudged across half his face. not to mention that his dress has started to slip off his   shoulder. it was quite a fight earlier.

horikawa smiles, not realizing his unkempt appearance, "so what if he likes me better than you, just butt out of this.   that sexy man is now mine."    
tsurumaru blushes at this, he has never been called sexy before in his life, mainly because he isn't.

kashuu sighs, and it is the sound of a man tired of dealing with idiots, "that's not it at all, i don't care about your   relationship with tsurumaru, but could you schedule your dates when he doesn't have lessons with me?"

horikawa blinks at this, "what do you mean? you aren't his boyfriend?"   
kashuu sighs again, heavier this time, "no, stupid. i am   his private tutor, he hired me to teach him some common sense about love and fashion."

  horikawa nods his head, "yeah he needs that."   
kashuu still does not look amused, "have you ever seen your reflection? you also   need help."   
horikawa gasps, he has never been so insulted in his life. his taste is impeccable, who does this guy think he is ?   horikawa decides that he will seduce him too. he steps closer to kashuu, "and would you mind telling me just where i need   improvement? please, teach me ♡"    
he rubs his chest against kashuu, and kashuu makes a face of disgust.

"start with your face," he pulls out a pocket mirror, and horikawa faints upon seeing his reflection.

kashuu pulls tsurumaru into the limousine, and leaves horikawa out cold on the floor. they drive away back to tsurumaru's house.

 

horikawa wakes up near dusk, and quickly finishes what he came here to do, which was to buy a lightbulb. he then goes back to  the mansion, but washes his face at a mcdonalds first.  he cannot allow mikazuki to see his lipstick smudged face with mascara running all over it.   he reapplies his makeup, and winks at his reflection. he is looking absolutely perfect now, that kashuu will absolutely pay for   making him look like a fool. yes, he will have kashuu dancing in the palm of his hands...

 

a bitter vengeance fills horikawa's heart, his pride is at stake.   mikazuki is certain that by using horikawa, tsurumaru will grow jealous and come back running to his side, while tsurumaru is   certain that by taking horikawa away from mikazuki, mikazuki will want tsurumaru back.   
just how will this tragic tale of love end ? _find out the answer in tomorrow's episode._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is no episode 2, this is months old. who knows if jiichan and tsuru ever get back together, i sure dont.


	7. sweet like strawberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> twitter fic written just for the intention of ruining mel's day

"No homo, but fart on me bro," Yasusada says one night, and Kashuu drops his fashion magazine in surprise at the strange request.

Kashuu, both shocked and flustered, "I...I don't fart...! How could you ask me something so vulgar"

But Yasusada looks so serious, and there's this faint flush across his cheeks and Kashuu realizes that maybe, this is a request that he truly means. Yasusada looks up at him pleadingly, "Please, my dude, just this once." Kashuu's heart skips a beat, _my dude_.

He's Yasusada's dude, his. And that's all the convincing it takes, face heating up Kashuu averts his gaze, unable to hold contact steady with Yasusada's unwavering sultry gaze. "F-fine...just this once, and o-only because it's you..." Kashuu whispers, even the tips of his ears are hot, "I've never...even farted before in my life..." Yasusada gasps softly, "Your first time...and it's all mine..."

Kashuu nods slowly, before turning around and getting on his knees. He positions his supple ass towards Yasusda's face, and squeezes his eyes shut, unsure of what to expect. The gas slowly leaves through his inner tubes, until it reaches the surface, leaving his butt with a soft and shy _pweeet_. Yasusada inhales in the sweet scent, and Kashuu mumbles, "Is...is that enough..."

"That's more than enough..." Yasusada says, lying his face against Kashuu's bare buttcheek. He gives it a soft kiss, "Thank you for fulfilling my only wish, man."

"A-anything's fine, if it's you..." Kashuu says, then abruptly remembers to add in, "No homo."

With Kashuu's face turned away, he can't see the single tear that rolls down Yasusada's face, and neither can Yasusada see the look of heartbreak upon Kashuu's face.

No homo, this is their unspoken relationship after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i havent posted anything new in months and this is all i have :'-)


End file.
